Monday, July 27, 2009

Monday Memories—Roll Call

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Once everyone in our family got to earth we had to have two family cars because not everyone could fit in one, even without the seat belt or infant car chair laws requiring everyone to have a seat belt, and three full bench seats, and someone sitting on a pillow on the little step between the middle and back seats, there was not enough room for all of us. One of our cars was a green Chevrolet suburban—whether a ’71 or ’72 I don’t remember. But what I do remember is roll call. Before we backed out of the garage or parking lot Dad would run down everyone’s name and we would make an accounting by calling “here” or answer by proxy “he’s in the other car.” Our names rattled off the tongue like we were our own alphabet song, interspersed with “Here.” “Here.” “Here.” I loved roll call and being accounted for.

Many insecurities I’ve outgrown, but one that occasionally plagues me still is that our Heavenly Father will forget He put me down here on Earth. I know it’s a silly concern, believe me I’ve wrestled with it long enough to know and had enough evidence to the contrary, but every now and then that fear still crops up and I want to hear Him call my name so I can yell, “Here! Here! Don't forget I’m here!”



This morning I watched this inspiring video—a heavenly roll call of sorts where God’s creations pass by—and as I watched the birds in flight I thought of the scripture in Luke that says, “Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God. But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore . . .” (12:6-7, italics added).

Here. Here. Watching this was the second best six minutes I've spent all morning. We are definitely here, present and accounted for.

Do tell, what insecurities do you struggle with?

7 comments:

Kathy said...

"I beleive!" I love that clip with the spectacular pictures and the MUSIC! How fun for your family to have "roll call"! What a sweet memory.
Now you ask a very interesting question...my insecurity is that I don't fell like I am good enough, the house isn't clean enougth, the food isn't just right, the presentation wasn't good enough, etc. I must say over and over, I is "good enough", but it seem like there is always some one else who does it better. Now that is really getting close to the heart. Love ya, dear!

Alisa said...

Just pulled all the kids to watch this before lunch. Beautiful. Loved what you wrote too. So real.

I think right now I am feeling insecure with my abilities as a parent. Parenting the age range seems to be a challenge for me.

Cali said...

Mom,
That was wonderful. My favorite was the giraffe in the middle of all that water.
I forgot about your roll call. I feel bad for the one that had to ride on the pillow on the hump.
Cali

What do you think about getting rid of the word verification? I hate it (I never get it right on the first try). Just an idea.

Marie said...

Insecurities? I'd like anyone to try being Barbara's little sister without one or two creeping up in their minds!

Lucy said...

Great morning thought, Jane. I've often wondered at the rationality of believing that Heavenly Father listens to my sometimes lengthy and detailed conversations with him, but during the actual talking, there isn't any doubt that He is listening. It's only after ward when I wonder.

michelle said...

Jane, please don't ever stop posting your memories, I love them so. How many are in your family that you needed two cars, and someone sitting on the hump?

Let's see, insecurities... I guess that I'm not enough. Thin enough, spiritual enough, a good enough mother, a good enough teacher, etc. etc.

Danielle said...

It was nice to officially meet you as well, Jane! You women have the most amazing book club. I left with so much love and respect for all the women I have known for years and those I just met.

My insecurities...too many to list. But at the top right now, PARENTING! I want a crystal ball. Do those come standard with the instruction manuel?

And to my mom, Kathy, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!