Monday Memories—Promises, Promises, Promises

Calvin, Charlie, Grace, Haley, Ryan, Ande

I once promised God that I would never go through another spook alley again if He would just let me get out of the one I was in alive without miscarrying the baby inside of me.

I lied and I’m ashamed. I’ve broken that promise twice now.

This last time I broke that promise was last weekend.  It began at Sammy’s with old fashioned hamburgers, fries, (and fry sauce. Important to mention because Washington doesn’t seem to believe in fry sauce) and milkshakes. They were very, very good. Then we went to The Haunted Mill.

While I may not be good with spook-alleys, I’m even worse with Haunted Mills. We had to crawl through tight places in the dark, cross the river on a swinging bridge in the dark, walk through a cornfield in the dark, and climb three flights of wooden stairs in an old grain mill in the dark. I kept thinking as I screamed my way through, “I can’t believe health and welfare hasn’t shut this place down yet.” Worse than the suffocating tunnels, worse than the snakes and cobwebs, worse than the silent creatures whispering behind you, and worse than the swinging bridge, was a foot wide ledge they expected us to cross (in the dark). If you miss-stepped it was three floors down. And just as you got in the middle of the ledge, there was a leaning wall that pushed you off balance. That was where I refused to go further. It didn’t matter that there was a dark creature of a woman hiding in the shadows that kept hoarsely whispering, “Go.” It didn’t matter that reason said no one would open themselves up to a lawsuit like a fall from that ledge would bring about. It didn’t matter that Ande kept saying, “Go mom, go.” I wasn’t going. I was hanging on to my niece’s hand in front of me and Ande’s hand in back of me and if I fell, I’d take all three of us. I was certain of it. Finally Calvin came back to get me and said from the side of safety, “Hold my hand and I’ll help you across.”

I hollered, “But Calvin, it’s DANGEROUS!”

He assured me he wouldn’t let me fall.  I trust him.  When I reached him he whispered, “There’s plexi-glass across the hole. See?” and he tapped his foot against it. But I’m telling you it was scary, even when you know about plexi-glass it's scary.  It's especially scary when you don’t know about plexi-glass.

And then there was the time when we were crawling through one of the tunnels and I lost my niece’s hand in front of me and the tunnel squeezed in tight and dark. Very dark. I just decided I would wait until someone else wanted to go bad enough to go over or under me and be the leader. After a few moments I turned to tell Ande so and saw she’d been replaced by a black faceless thing that breathed heavy and nodded. I tell you it was scary.

I’d like to tell you more about how Calvin, Ande, Grace, my two nieces Haley and Charlie, and my nephew Ryan fared during the walk through The Haunted Mill. But I can’t. I went into selfish survival mode. All I could think about was myself and one time when a creature was coming towards us in the cornfield, I even threw Ande in front of me and cowered behind her back and used her as my shield. She kept hollering, “I can’t believe you’re throwing me to the wolves. I just can’t believe it.” But I didn’t budge. I knew she didn’t look scared and they’d leave her alone, but I was a magnet for fright.

Later, Ande started laughing and telling everyone how I threw her to the wolves (Literally. He wore a wolf man mask). I reminded her of the circle of life and that sometimes we have to take turns being brave and that I was already brave once when I needed to be. I told her about the other time I broke my spook alley promise and attended the ward Young Men and Young Women’s spook alley. The Young Men chased us down at the end with chainless chainsaws and they didn’t have the no-touching-the-people rule either. I said, “I was brave one time when it was very, very important. I huddled over you and protected you from those chainsaws.”

But now as I type this out, I remember something. It wasn’t Ande I saved, it was Ty. We left Ande home that night. I’m sorry Ande. I guess it wasn’t our circle of life. But thank you for saving me just the same. I guess I still owe you one.  I promise, if I ever break my promise and go to a spookfest again I'll take Ty.