Thursday Thinking -- ?

I'm reading Bonds That Make Us Free by Terry Warner.  If I remember right, Dr. Warner and Dr. Scoresby are/were colleagues.  Years and years ago Dr. Scoresby taught me there are four different kinds of personalities that emerge in conflict:  aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.  Aggressive says there is a fight even where there are no fists.  Passive pretends there is no fight even when fists fly.  Passive-Aggressive feigns ignorance and then gives a kidney punch when the opponent’s back is turned.  And Assertive sees fists drawn, holds her shoulders back and says, “I may not be a fighter, but I will not be bullied.”  Dr. Scoresby said it was our job to tame the aggressive, flame the passive, and flush the passive-aggressive.  He said only the assertive should be left standing. 

Another time he said, “You’re always apologizing.  That’s passive.  What would Jesus have done if he were like you?  He’d have tried to bake enough cookies to share with all the Sadducees and Pharisees and then apologized that they were mad at him when he handed them out.  That’s not what the real Jesus did.  No sir.  He spoke to the Sadducees and Pharisees forthrightly, but he did not tolerate their drivel because that would not have helped anybody.”  I got his point.  WWJD was not What Would Jane Do.  I had pretended that being passive was being patient and Christ-like.  (That’s easy enough to do, you know, pretend your faults are virtues.) 

I liked Dr. Scoresby.  Passive is not attractive and I’m glad he told me so.  (I was also relieved he didn’t call me passive-aggressive, because passive-aggressive is plain ugly.)  And that’s what I’ve been thinking about, out of all the random floating in my brain today that was one I focused on.  I wondered if I’ve done Dr. Scoresby proud.  Did I successfully move from passive to assertive and sidestep passive-aggressive?

Another thought:  Calvin makes me laugh.  At noon when Grace and I sat down to eat, she said, “Mom.  Guess what?  Dad always peeks in his Valentine box to see if anybody has put anything in it yet.”  Oh ho.  Somehow I was not surprised.  He peeks during prayers, too.  Guess what else?  Yesterday I got a cute little popcap looking tin full of mints from a vine-wine company and Grace got an itsy-bitsy, inch-sized bottle of Tabasco sauce in her mailbox.  Grace gave us each our own bag of mini-Reeses cups.  Five more days of surprises.