Monday, August 20, 2012

Monday Memories - "Sometimes When My Eyes are Red"

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Dear Kids,
            Fact One:  You love me.
            Fact Two:  You are glad I’m getting my degree.
            Fact Three:  You would do anything to help me.
            Fact:  For an English class I have to get people to join me in a poetry slam session.  That means I give you the first line of the poem and you spend five (and only five) minutes and write whatever poem or poem-like words that come to mind and then send it back to me.
            Fact:  I’m asking you to do this because of established facts one, two, and three.  
            Fact:  Your dad says this is stupid and that the grade should be about what I write not about what people in a poetry slam session write.
            Fact:  He’s right.
            Fact:  Regardless of that fact and that he is right, it still remains that a poetry slam session is a portion of my grade.
            Fact:  I would appreciate your help.
            Fact:  The first line of the poem is:

Sometimes when my eyes are red

             Thank you for even considering helping me with this.  
             I love you.
Oh ho. They did not disappoint.  This morning the mailbox was full of poems.

The instructor suggested we give a prize for the best poem, but that would be like choosing which child I love best.  Not gonna happen.  No sir.  Not gonna happen.  But, I do want to thank them for their enthusiastic and timely responses.  So, would you please vote which child poem you like best?  Below are the anonymous poems with their commentaries.  The vote is open to one and all, participant or not.  Feel free to vote anonymously and stuff the ballot comment box with more than one vote.  A $50 Olive Garden Gift Certificate is at stake.  (Unless Abe wins, in that case we'll send him SPAM and marinara sauce.  It's durable, mail-able, can stand 120+ temperatures . . . and he likes it.  [You can't tell me LDS missions aren't miraculous.])

Poem One.
Sometimes when my eyes are red,
I use it as an excuse to stay in bed.

I tell everyone I'm just not feeling well,
Actually, I am feeling quite swell.

A whole day has gone by and nothing's been done,
I am still in bed and there's no more sun.

I wish I hadn't been so lazy,
A new day begins and I decide to not be so crazy.

I am HORRIBLE at poems... but here you go. I did it because I love you!

Poem Two.
Sometimes when my eyes are red,
It usually means something is in my eye.
It itches and irritates to no end.
When I get it out, I heave a big sigh.

Similar to the sigh I let out,
When I'm done writing a stupid rhyme.
I hate it; it makes me scream and shout.
This is stupid and a waste of time.

Maybe this will score some bonus points for you?

Poem Three.

Sometimes when my eyes are red
My only thoughts are going back to bed
The baby didn't sleep so well, she woke so early I could yell
I'd love to reintroduce the pillow to my head

Sometimes I'm not quite sure what to do
Instead of snoring, I might as well moo
She wakes up crying for mom, not Dick, Harry, or Tom
Oh how I wish that guys had boobs too

I wrote this silly poem in a daze
This early waking better be a short phase
I am so darn tired, this poem's sure not inspired
It deserves no awards nor praise

Poetry slammed. Nailed it.

Love you 

Poem Four.
Sometimes when my eyes are red,
Waking up, I truly dread.
It means I am dozy and wish to stay cozy
In my nice warm bed.

Sometimes when my eyes are green,
With a piercing look some call keen.
I want someone’s something, even if it’s a dumb thing,
Envy can truly be seen.

Sometimes when my eyes are yellow,
I am not a healthy fellow.
Jaundice is there and won’t go anywhere,
Until my liver can mellow.

Sometimes when my eyes are blue,
Oh wait, that’s always true.
I hate writing classes, that search out the masses
To write poems not a few.

Often they start with “Sometimes when my eyes are red…”
 I believe good inspiration for poetry comes from reading the work of great artists.  Ever since “Bob, the High Flying Bug” I knew Abe was a great poet.  Michelle impressed me with a rhyming treasure hunt we did for our date on Saturday.  You can probably see some of their influence in my poem.  Abe’s poem inspired the emotion I hoped to express in my own poem.  He filled me with a deep hatred for this assignment that you have been given.  It all came from his powerful last stanza.  I was inspired by Michelle’s rhyming pattern.  It felt like such a perfect fit for the assignment.  I used this rhyming pattern to lull the reader into thinking I’m more of a light-hearted poet similar to Dr. Seuss and then I use my last line (non-rhyming) to convey a strong message as contemporary poets such as Allen Ginsberg do.  Thus, I combined the classics with the modern into a truly dazzling poem.  If only I understood iambic pentameter I could have added a little Shakespearean influence as well.  

Poem Five.
Ode to Late Night Lost

Sometimes when my eyes are red
It says more than I meant to say
Then everyone knows I should've gone to bed
Instead of staying up with Ray

"LOST" should take the blame for this
A new question, and rarely an answer
Will Jack and Kate just finally kiss
Or Rose be cured of cancer

We all were glad when Michael died
And Echo, and fat guy at Black Rock, and Shannon
It was very annoying when John Locke cried?
That's why we also wanted his head to plug a cannon

But then he did die
And became even more annoying
At least that stopped the cry
And replaced it with coy-ing

This spoiler alert comes 6 years late
So maybe it isn't even a spoiler
They're already dead, no fate
Guess who saw that one coming?
Now Ray has to call me "Master of Cinematic Arts" all day

Poem Six.
Sometimes when my eyes are red/
It's because I've been reading a book in bed./
The words aren't sad or the story tick'ling./
It's because my light is flick'ring./

My inspirations are Ogden Nash and Shel Silverstine. I realize mine is short, but it did take five minutes because I kept giggling to myself about it. It's just so stupid. 

There you have it friends.  Please vote. And please, by all means, feel free to add your own "sometimes when my eyes are red" verse in the comments.

(Votes counted until Friday the 24th.)


Marie said...

I vote for the last poem. I'm a fan of Silverstein myself.

(Although I loved the one that went through all the colours their eyes may be too. So clever and original)

Leigh said...

Even though Cali's poem--I mean, Poem Five--was a total spoiler for me (We only just finished season 2! Ahhhhh!), I relate to it the most currently, so it gets my vote.

Sometimes when my eyes are red...

Nope. I just can't do it.

Charity said...

I'm all for poem sleep for Moms!

As far as a poem...

Sometimes when my eyes are red
It means lots of different things.

It means I've been crying, or lying.

It means I'm in a picture or I ran into a pole.

It means I have allergies.

It means I am sick or I got kicked.

So, when my eyes are red. It's simple. It could mean anything!

By Kirstina, age 10

Heather Williams said...


I didn't know you were finishing your degree. Go Jane!

katles said...

I have to go with the last one for the fantastic rhyming of tickling and flick'ring. Loved it! Oh, poetry least these were absent of the angsty-ness you hear sitting in a smoky bar while tortured souls slam their way through poem. After poem. After poem.

Anonymous said...

.....poem 2 expresses my sentiments my eyes are means i'm dead.....

melanie said...

Poem 6.

Anonymous said...

I like number 4--love all the references to the different color of eyes. Brilliant!

Lucy said...

Poem 4. Love the creativity with the colors. I need a reminder about the degree you're getting. Could you send me a link to past posts or write about it?

Brenda Goodrich said...

The last one gets my vote!

Marcia said...

All were worth the read, but poem 4 and 5 have an art form to them.


Melinda said...

I think I like poem 4 even though I know all about the baby one. I like being able to stay in bed.

Susan Walker said...

The last is my favorite. :)

hennchix said...

Poem 6!!

Sometimes when my eyes are red,
It is because my chores I dread.
The toilet to me ever calls
and makes me clean, despite it's galls.

But other days my eyes are bright
and filled with joy and great delight
When to my favorite neighbor Jane
I can vent, and not explain

My craziness and actions to
for she always knows just what to do
How to can and dry and jerk
I always on her blog do lurk.

Hoping my time be not in vain
I send this silly poem to Payne
"Send the Garden coupon to me" I pray,
"that braised beef and tortellini on my plate stay"

Until the dish to my place comes
I happily will flap my gums!!
Oh please oh please I shameless beg
Send me to the Garden, that I may fill my hollow leg!!


Heather @ Multiple Hats said...

Poem 3!

Watson Family said...

#6! :)

michelle said...

#5 gets my vote. I love this post!!

Becky said...

Well, I joined the party to late for a vote but I vote for the awesome poem by commenter "hennchix". Someone send that gal a gift card! :)

Like Lucy I am curious about your degree. Jeff just told me about BYU-Idaho's new Pathway program and I'm getting excited about finishing up my degree (starting in a year or two).

Loved and laughed (with) all of your kids' poems and commentary...