Blogging is exhausting. It's taken me 2 weeks to write this post.
Actually it's the indecision that fatigues me. Bertrand Russell said, "Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile." Hear, here. Two weeks of no decisions = two weeks of no memories recorded.
This was my problem:
I had a perfect time with Joe and Ande, Zeph and Ezra last week. Even though 255 babies are born per minute, 353, 000 per day, it does not lesson the beauty and wonder of a new birth. Ezra Wilhelm is a sweet little miracle and it was special being a part of his first week on Earth. Maybe it’s because of the frequency of being with newborns (eight new grand-babies in four years), maybe it’s because I’m not swimming in postpartum recovery myself, maybe it’s because I’m closer to death than I am to birth, but I better recognize now more than ever before that being with a family as they welcome a newborn is an incredible experience in its simplicity, spirit, and sacrifice. Simply put, birth is a miracle.
But . . .
How do I capture it right? How do I write about it? Which pictures do I use to show the process of a growing family?
This one . . .
. . . or this one?
And which picture should I save to remember Zeph meeting Ezra for the first time?
This one where he seems to say, "Oh my goodness, it's a miracle," . . .
. . . or this one where he squeezes his nose and says, "Honk! Honk!"?
Then there was the decision of which picture to use remembering mine and Zeph's morning walks while the rest of the family was busy. Should I use this one of the sea water . . .
. . . or this one of the alligators lying by the fresh water ponds?
Which picture? The one of Joe and Ezra where all of Ezra's face is visible . . .
. . . or this one where all three boys are present and watching Curious George.
I really, really couldn't decide between the hat pictures that kept Ezra warm. This one . . .
. . . or this one?
Joe, Ande, and I spent hours reading to Zeph. Which picture should document that? This one . . .
. . . this one . . .
. . . or this one?
The day we brought Ezra home from the hospital Zeph said, "the beebee" no less than one hundred times (we counted) as he searched high and low for him. We had to hide Ezra to keep him safe from Zeph's love. Which picture best shows how we camouflaged him? The one where he is swaddled on the bedspread . . .
. . . or the one where he is hidden among the laundry on the dining room table?
Sometimes, to keep Zeph quiet so Ande could rest in the mornings, we stayed in my room. Which picture best captures keeping him busy? Pluto and the Puppy. . .
. . . or coloring all over my list?
There should always be a picture of a child with his handsome father and beautiful mother. But, again, which one?
Now you can see why I had such a hard time recording this memory.
There is a sense of wonder to a new birth. Not only is it miraculous at seeing the body's development from those nine months of pregnancy, but seeing a little spirit and body unite and work together independently for the first time is pretty marvelous . . .
. . . and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it.
Welcome to the world Ezra Wilhelm. Our family is better because you're here.