Oh I’ve been thinking all right. They just aren’t fully formed thoughts is all.
I used to love fall – the smells, the air, the activities. It was my favorite season of the year when I was a kid. When I became a mother that all changed. Fall became my least favorite season for the same reason it was my favorite as a kid – school started. I hated losing the kids at the end of each summer from 7:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. I should have been more grateful. College takes them from September until April or June. Deployments take them for a year. I’m trying to recapture the enthusiasm for Fall . . . first stop peach pie and caramel apples . . .
I’ve found myself wandering around the house looking for something only to realize nothing is missing except Clara. Who’d have guessed such a little girl would leave such a big hole? Today I thought, “I’m hungry.” Then realized, “No, I’m not hungry. I’m empty. Empty is different from hungry.” I can eat to make hungry go away; I just have to be patient and have perspective until empty goes away . . .
Two of my sisters and their husbands as well as nieces and nephews are coming this weekend. We’re very excited to see them, the reason they are coming is even more exciting (more on that thought next week). My brother-in-law, Bruce, is a rancher and livestock sale owner. He always comes bearing prime rib. We’ll see if we can dethrone Abe as the bocce ball champ while it cooks . . .
I've threatened before, but this time I mean it. I'm never planting broccoli again. Eleven worms crawled off two small bunches. Who knows how many didn't crawl off? I finally fed the broccoli (and worms) to the chickens. Broccoli is too needy for me. I like potatoes, flowers, peppers, and tomatoes that take care of themselves. . .
Hmmmm….. what have you been thinking about?
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7 comments:
My dearest Jane,
I was thinking that you were up mighty late for you! 11:59 p.m.! Sheesh!
I was also thinking that for the first time in a long time, I'm not ready for summer to end. But the end is coming. Bummer.
And lastly I was thinking that I'm really going to miss my senior girl next year. But she is very excited to have you for seminary again this year. Time goes way too quickly.
Oh I so understand your feelings for fall. School started today. I don't like losing the kids either. I have had more than one person today tell me to enjoy what I have with Tucker still being home and the kids at their ages. Most of them were mom's with kids leaving for college. You know what? It only made me feel more sad.
I am sure that Clara is deeply missed. I liked your explanation of that- and I looked down and I was eating a cookie. I don't think I am hungry. I think I am missing ...
My mind was all over the place this morning.
I was wondering how in the world Emree manages to walk away with something in such a little apartment and it will go missing. Sometimes forever. Today I found the hairspray. It has been missing since Sunday. Now I am looking for my perfume and the lid to the lotion. She must be smelling good somewhere.
Thanks for always being so open and honest with your thoughts. It is what makes you such a wonderful teacher, friend, mother, mother-in-law, and the list goes on.
I think I may just make some carmel apples!
I am so thankful that I no longer have to miss my kids during the school year.
However, there is so much thought and preparation that go into my school year. So, that is what has been on my mind. What books to purchase, stocking up on school supplies, deciding how many extra activities I can manage and still call it homeschool.
Doesn't life keep us on our toes!
I've been thinking about you and your family. And school starting. Sending my youngest off to kindergarten.
I do love fall. I never quite feel ready for the kids to go back to school, I don't want to give up the more lax schedule we enjoy in the summer, and I enjoy their company. The boys help me so much when they are at home.
But then they go off to school and I find I feel really productive with the tighter schedule. They are learning and having fun and I am enjoying a little time to myself. Sometimes. Like so many things in life, it feels like a conundrum.
I love your explanation of not feeling hungry. I think I eat a lot of the time for reasons other than hunger.
The is nothing like fresh peach pie. I made one for my friends family once and before they came home, she ATE THE WHOLE THING. And she's skinny, too!
I can only guess at the hole that Clara has left! I am so glad you had a chance to get to know her little sweet spirit.
Enjoy your family this week end.
I am with you on the broccoli! Even if you think you have the worms out, they are still in there only come out with boiling (you hope). Ugh!
Mmmm, I'm thinking your caramel and apples is a perfect treat for fall.
Also thinking about your sweet family. Empty is hard. I love your attitude about patience and perspective. Amazing.
One last thought, I can't grow anything. Too small tomatoes, not enough to can, one cucumber, a couple pumpkins and that's about it. I didn't earn my green thumb this year. Maybe next.
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