Tuesday

Every now and then Cali takes a swat at my sacred cows. 

One time she mimicked the hero in one of my favorite novels.  My sister Rachel and I were retelling the most romantic scene.  The one where the hero’s best friend tells the damsel in distress that the hero has loved her all along even though he has been aloof and even scary at times.  Cali laughed at our admiration.  She had no respect as she quoted the hero in a sing-song tone: “Damn your wagging tongue, Paddy.”  

I cried, “No, no, nooooooo!  That was not how he said it.”  The book reads that the hero said it ‘tight-lipped’ which certainly means it sounded masculine.

Another time Cali came home from church and said, “We sang the corniest song on earth in young women’s today.  It was something about rubies and women.”

My cow twitched.  “Caaaallliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, THAT song is based on scripture – Proverbs 31.  Don’t you dare make fun of it.  (Pause.  Long pause. Then quitely,)  Besides . . . it’s one of my favorites.” 

Proverbs 31:10   Who can find a virtuous woman?  For her price is far above rubies.  (Of course I’d like that scripture; my birthstone is rubies.)

Proverbs 31:14   She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.  (I do love shopping at WinCo and it is 73 miles away.)

Proverbs 31:15  She riseth also while it is yet night . . . (I hardly ever miss a sunrise.)

Proverbs 31:17  She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.  (If I take this literally it’s a suggestion, yea permission, to buy a girdle.  [I remember my grandma’s, do you think they’ve improved?]  My legs are strong, but my arms are terribly weak.  I could definitely improve there.  I haven’t done a push up successfully in . . . well, a very long time.)

Proverbs 31:27  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.  (I’ve lumped all of those homemaking tasks that I love to do in this verse – cooking, baking, vacuuming, making things, organizing, gardening, decorating, cleaning, canning.)

Cali didn’t properly heed my warning that day for she sang selected lines from the song that she could remember without the reverence I thought it deserved.   

But for the last several days, Cali has not only smiled at my sacred cow, she has fed it.  We spent Labor Day weekend eating not the bread of idleness.  We bottled 95 bottles of peaches, 50 bottles of pears, 10 bottles of jam, and 3 bottles of fruit cocktail (it slowed us down too much).  Levin cheered us on from the counter;

Calvin and Ray cheered us on from the shop and gun range (they were fixing and sighting in guns for deer hunting).

Proverbs 31:31  Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Isn’t there a poem out there about fruit looking like jewels in the bottle?  Something about the beets looking like rubies, the peaches like amber, the pears like opals?  Well, if there’s not there should be.  Everything looks beautiful, and somehow 99 bottles of beer on the wall does not capture the virtue of it all.