Tuesday - A Winner

Yesterday my little friend down the road said, "Neighbor Jane! Neighbor Jane! I have a joke for you."

He is five, the knock-knock age.  But this was no knock-knock joke.

"Oh good!  Tell me."

He said, "What did the pig say on a sunny day?"

I thought for a minute, tapped my lips, and finally said, "I give up."

He said, "I'm bacon out here" and laughed and laughed, then said,  "Neighbor Jane I have another one for you."

"Ready."

"What did the hot dog say when he won a game?"

I didn't know the answer to that one either.

"I'm a wiener!  Get it?  He's a wiener."

Well folks, that joke was so very timely, because we have a wiener from the poetry contest.  And it is none other than:

Ande

Sometimes when my eyes are red/

It's because I've been reading a book in bed./

The words aren't sad or the story tick'ling./

It's because my light is flick'ring./

She was quite excited to win.  Thank you for helping to make her dreams come true.

Just in Case You Were Wondering . . .

Dear family,

First things first. I apologize that I've been silently accusing Calvin, Cali, Abe, and/or Ande for the last four years for taking my iPod recharge cord. At least I didn't throw Ty in the pile for I knew he didn't have use for one. I found my recharge cord, still in its original packaging, the other day while cleaning out one of the computer drawers. Evidently I'd been using one of yours and then when you left you took it with you and I assumed you took mine.

Now that that's cleared up:

The black pig died . . . but not until after your dad had pumped him full of $50 worth of medicine. And so the law of livestock lives on.

Dad's input: Please tell the kids that I love them.

I second that. We love and miss you all.

Mom


Replies:

Grace: I'm so sad the black pig died. I love you.

Abe: Mom, I'm glad you aren't accusing me anymore. I know what that's like...I still know that Ande lost one of my CDs while I was on my mission.  I love you.

Ande: Abe I will go to my grave knowing I didn't lose your Monster Rock CD. And when you die, you'll figure it out too.

Abe: Ha ha...we'll see!

Me: Abe and Ande you guys are pretty darn funny. Ty please don't bring up the case of the missing Christmas candy, 'cause I know you want to. But, while we're confessing, who put the hole in our bathroom door back in '99 or '00?

Ty: At least you all didn't lose your Christmas candy to a thief.

Ty: P.S. Mom's email hadn't come in yet when I sent mine.

Abe: I didn’t even know there was a hole in the door.

Ty: Me either. I bet Mom did it.

Michelle: I'll be the first to accept blame in this email chain. The bathroom door was my fault.

Grace: Abe I could see you putting the hole in the door and eating Ty's candy! I think Abe's guilty.

Abe: No...we already know who the candy culprit is...and I honestly didn't even know there was a hole in the door.

Ty: Here's a hint. The candy thief wasn't the youngest child, nor was it a boy. Also Mom and Dad didn't like the kind of candy that went missing.

Grace: I'm just trying to stir things up

Ty: I'm not sure who put the hole in the door, but I do know who ate the last piece of pumpkin chocolate chip bread and didn't offer to share.

Michelle: Did my e-mail not go thru?

Abe: I don't know anything about pumpkin chocolate chip bread either. Apparently there is a lot I've missed out on.

Michelle: And I know who killed this email chain.

Me: Oh ho. This made my day to come home and read all this e-mail banter that happened while I was gone today. I can't wait to hear Cali's responses after she gets back to a computer. (She's been in Utah at Alan's wedding and a Follett family reunion.) And it's a good thing your dad won't type. He still keeps muttering about me finding my cord. Michelle, do tell. Did Ty eat the pumpkin bread? Cali needs this ammunition if it is.

Ande: It was Andy Murdock.

Ande: In case it wasn't clear, Andy Murdock put a hole in the bathroom door. Cali ate the candy, Michelle ate the pumpkin bread, Abe shot Ty with rocks in a bbgun and Ande was always a delight. And Professor Plum was in the dining room with the candlestick. The end.

Monday’s Memory, Tuesday’s Neighbor, and Wednesday’s Homemaking Tip

My little four year old neighbor calls me, “Neighbor Jane.” She greets me at the door and says, “Neighbor Jane do you want to see our kittens? Neighbor Jane do you want to see my new dress? Neighbor Jane watch this!” It’s pretty darn cute. Her name is Hannah Jane and my name is Neighbor Jane. 

The nickname comes from the weekly newsletter I sent out for several years.  Each newsletter was signed with “your neighbor, Jane.” Here is one of those newsletters (with some editing):

Dear Neighbor,

           

My neighbor, Emilie, had a full head of rich black hair and she laughed with a cackle. She was a funny combination of Snow White and the wicked witch.  Long before I’d met her she used to be a woman of means (occasionally she’d model her fur coat for us or show us pictures of her Rolls Royce), but when we knew her she was just a regular hard-working U.S. citizen trying to pay her bills.  Emilie lived on a few acres and had all kinds of animals on her place – most of them loose – rabbits, dogs, chickens, cats, ducks, geese, calves.  Because of experiences growing up, she strongly believed in being self-reliant.   

Emilie grew up in Germany in the ‘30’s and ‘40’s and lost “imperfect” family members during Hitler’s regime.  Her mother foraged in the woods for her and her sister during the lean times; likewise, Emilie learned to be resourceful and make do.  When we knew her she raised rabbits to eat, used leather boot straps as gate hinges and held everything else together with baling twine.

Emilie was headstrong and not everyone appreciated her.  Sometimes when people were rude or unaccepting of her or others that she loved she’d say to me, “It’s ok honey.  I’m gonna kill ‘em vith kindness.”  And she did.  She took food, rabbits, candy, groceries or offered her work-worn hands to help them.  One time I was helping her with some people who were especially cantankerous.  She again reminded me, “Honey, ve’ gonna kill ‘em vith kindness.  They von’t even know vat hit them.”

Emilie went home to Germany to die, but her words echo across time and sea.

Tip of the Week:    Twenty reasons we should show kindness, respect and consideration to others: 1.                  They are older. 2.                   They know more than we do. 3.                   They know less than we do. 4.                   They got here first. 5.                   They have educational qualifications in the subject under discussion. 6.           We are in their house. 7.                    They once helped us financially. 8.                    They have been good to us all our lives. 9.                    They are less fortunate than us. 10.                They have achieved special status in the wider world. 11.                 We are serving them in a shop. 12.                They are in the right. 13.                They are our boss. 14.                They work for us. 15.                They are a policeman/teacher/doctor/judge. 16.                They are in need. 17.                They are doing us a favor. 18.                They paid for the tickets. 19.                 We phoned them, not the other way around. 20.                They have a menial job (December 2005/January 2006 issue of Real Simple)

Recipe of the Week:

I would have liked to share a recipe of Emilie’s with you.  However, she was a “pinch of this and a dash of that” kind of cook.  Most every morning she fried her husband Bill eggs and chorizo sausages and served them with sourdough toast and a pile of beans.

Emilie lived about a half mile up a deserted road from our house – just the right distance for little kids to walk.  Often, to keep our kids busy, I’d send them with a plate of cookies or a loaf of bread to give to her. She was always glad to see them and give them a few chocolate or peanut butter chips to eat on their way back home.

So instead of a recipe from Emilie, I’ll share a cookie recipe:

Cookie Dough Brownies

1 cup melted butter

2 cups sugar

2/3 cup baking cocoa

4 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

1 tsp. salt

1 cup flour

Mix melted butter, sugar and baking cocoa well.  Add vanilla and eggs.  Mix well.  Add salt and flour.  Mix well.  Pour into greased 9” x 13” pan and bake 28 minutes at 325 degrees.  Cool.

Cookie Dough Filling

½ cup butter

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup white sugar

2 tbsp. milk

1 tsp. vanilla

dash salt

1 cup flour

Mix all ingredients together well.  Spread on cooled brownies.

Chocolate Glaze

1 cup milk chocolate chips

½ tbsp. shortening

Melt together chocolate chips and shortening.  Spread chocolate on top of cookie dough filling.  Chill several hours before cutting.

Letter from the Trunk:

“I've heard that whenever you start feeling sorry for yourself you should go do something for somebody else.”

Dear Jane,

You should just see my house.  It's like we just moved in a day ago.  What a disaster.  A total and complete disaster.  We are switching rooms—all of us.  I got the girls’ room painted and the carpets of the two bedrooms shampooed.  I have everything that I had hidden under my bed, plus all of my dresser drawer stuff out, and all of the bookshelf items lying on the floor in my old room.  I have laundry in every corner of the house.  Some clean, some dirty, some who knows. 

And then just to make it more exciting for myself I decided that whatever was underneath the carpet could NOT be worse than the actual carpet.  The hall was a safe choice, or so I thought.  I would rip it up and see for myself once and for all.  So, the kids and I ripped it up, ripped up the pad, etc... and found two inches of dirt and hard wood floors.  We cleaned it up as best we could so that we were finally down to the glue.  I borrowed a palm sander and we went to work on it.  We ripped up the tack strips (took forever), and everything else we could find to rip up, and then sanded.  We were all so proud of ourselves.  We got half of the hall done.  Then Bert came home......  He had the audacity to tell us it was the ugliest thing he had ever seen, we wouldn't be happy, it would cost a fortune to heat this house with a hard wood floor, etc, etc, etc.  He said we’d have to add baseboards, we would have to repaint, we would have to....Well the list just went on and on.  So there I sat.  A hall half sanded, torn carpet, books and clothes scattered to kingdom come. 

Yesterday morning as I slid against the wall to the floor, just about in tears...the kids walked in from cleaning stalls.  They wanted to know how they could help.  I was going to lose it if I stayed in the house one more second trying to find some order.  So I tiredly said, "Well I've heard that whenever you start feeling sorry for yourself you should go do something for somebody else.  So what do you say about going over to Mrs. Cain's house and cleaning up the orchard?" 

"What?" 

They wondered if I'd had a good look around myself lately.  In fact Cache said, "Do you think it will ever get back in order??" 

I assured them that I had looked at it only too much.  So we packed in the car, got a gas station burrito and headed over.  We got there at eleven-thirty and she was out in the rain trying to burn a haystack pile of sticks with a blow torch.  Funny, funny lady.  We put our hoods on and started clearing.  The mist was rolling in and it was very foggy.  We could all see our breath.  There were times when the fog was so thick everything was super silent except in one corner of the orchard and there was a whizzing sound from the windmill close by.  Maddie and Calder got to help Mrs. Cain by the fire.  She gave each of them tree pruning sheers and let them clip off edges to throw in the fire.  The rest of us worked for four hours.  We stopped once to go inside for hot chocolate, date cookies, and the bathroom.  The last hour it quit misting and became a real drizzle.  By the time we were finished (not with the job but for the day) we were soaked, and every step we sloshed in our shoes.  We still have half the orchard to go, but it was fun.  It was fun to work with my kids, in the mist, with Mrs. Cain and the blackbirds cackling over the fire in the center of the orchard.  It made me wake up and realize that I'm not the only one feeling overwhelmed at the moment.  Mrs. Cain is eighty-five, she has her lawn to take care of by herself, her house, and a ten acre orchard.  I felt like drying up my own tears and crying for her instead.  

We came home, got in dry clothes and then Calder and Jesse started more sanding in the hall.  They haven't given up the dream....    Tomorrow I’m supposed to go on a youth camping trip.  I hope the drizzle lets up by then, but if not I'm just going to follow Mrs. Cain's example.  At the moment I can't decide which one though.  Should I follow the one where I take one hour of each day at a time—along with some date cookies and hot chocolate?  Or should I just go get a blow torch...  

I'll check back between loads of laundry.

Love, Rachel

I hope you have a good week and that Emilie’s advice to “kill ‘em vith kindness” will help your week go smoother.

Till next week, your neighbor—

                                                       Jane

Tuesday Happenings

A lot can happen in a week.  

These . . . 

robin eggs
some of you asked if I edited this picture.  No, I did not, but only because I don't have enough skills to edit.

. . . can turn into 

baby robins
photo by Maddie

these.

And one kill-deer egg in a nest can become one of four with a sitting mama.

Yes sir, lots can happen in a week.

My niece Maddie came to stay with us for nearly a week and during that time . . . 

Calvin and Maddie making chicken-fried venison steak

We lived regular life.  Maddie came with me to school and she helped in the kitchen, garden, and gathering the eggs.  In fact, she taught us how to hypnotize a chicken just in case we should ever have the need.



Maddie got the chicken to focus on her hand and then drew a line in the dirt over and over.  The hen's pupil got larger and smaller, larger and smaller depending on how close her finger was to it.  Eventually the chicken lay there motionless with her eyes open.  When Maddie clapped her hands the chicken got up and ran away.

Maddie and Calvin weeded the garden and planted a few more things and we had a wiener roast.  Then Calvin taught Maddie how to shoot a black powder gun.

This next week we're going to see Ty, Michelle, and Afton.  I can't wait to see that hair, smell her, and see those dimpled knees.

Lots can happen in a week.

Tuesday – Leftovers

Tonight we ate leftovers from Sunday dinner.  I warmed up the extra pork gravy and added some fresh mushrooms and the leftover roast to it, then served it over hot rice. 

I love leftovers – scraps and snippets, odds and ends, bits and pieces.  In fact, I wouldn’t be offended if someone engraved

She used it up;

She wore it out;

She made it do;

Or did without.

And then,

The wear and tear

Did her in.

on my headstone.  Even though I didn’t grow up in the Depression and I don’t hoard, I do like seeing things all used up.

My daily list usually has some leftovers from the day before added to it.  It’s great because I never have to worry about what I’ll do tomorrow.

Another leftover I have is three Golden Corral gift certificates.  Some friends gave them to us but we didn’t get them used before our Golden Corral closed.  I have no idea how much is still on them – I’m thinking about $30 total, but I’m not sure.  I don’t see us getting to a town that has a Golden Corral in it in the near future.  If you’d like them, just mention it in the comment section and leave your e-mail address.  If there is more than one of you we’ll put your name in Calvin’s hat and draw a leftover Golden Corral winner.  

That’s what the 29^th of February is to me – a day of leftovers.  All those minutes that didn’t get used up in 20011, 2010, or 2009 got put together and lo and behold, we get a whole new day tomorrow.  What a deal. That's better than pork gravy on Tuesday night.

Tuesday – Ready or Not

The mother of all storms is supposed to come in tonight:  “Enormous.  Major.  Potentially historic,” says the weather channel.  The Seattle weathermen say they have 100% chance (that’s a funny oxymoron isn’t it) of snow.  They don't get snow very often and, what with the narrow, hilly streets that have outlawed salt, it shuts the city down when they do.

I keep my expectations low on what forecasters say – I don’t fault them, I’ve watched the sky for years and can’t predict the clouds either – but just in case they’re right I ran a mental checklist for the snowbound this afternoon:  wood, a charged flashlight, candles, water, food.  Check, check, check, check, check.  Oh, and a good book or a project.  Check, check.  I’m ready; I'm hopeful.   

Tuesday Tell All

Thank heavens we have 26 letters in our alphabet. It’s just the right number for me to memorize and manipulate. It also is the right amount for summing up favorite things of our last few weeks. Here’s to alphabets . . . and favorite things blog posts.

As a preface, we (Calvin, me, Abe, Grace, Ty, Michelle, Ande, and Joe) gathered in Disneyland before Christmas to celebrate Ande’s college graduation, and then we (Calvin, me, Ty, Michelle, Ande, and Joe) came home to celebrate Christmas, and then we (Calvin, me, Ty, and Michelle) went to Seattle to celebrate New Years with Ande, Joe, Ray, Cali, and Levin. These memories are in no particular order, they're just some favorites. Thanks to Joe and Ande for most of the pictures.

A

Airports. Five days before Christmas most of our family met at Disneyland (California) to celebrate Ande’s graduation from college. Ty, Michelle, Calvin, and I spent several hours in the airport on Christmas Eve awaiting our flight home. This card table made of suitcases worked perfectly to pass the hours.

While awaiting one flight I saw a soldier sitting by his mother, both were very sad. I went and talked to them and they both cried. The young man was deploying to Afghanistan and he was scared and so was his mom. I gave him a big hug and told him I was proud of him and was grateful he’d take care of us. He smiled real big and I was glad I was brave enough to talk to them. Later, somebody on our flight gave him a first class seat and he showed a bit of excitement. A little thank you seems to go a long way when someone is sad.

B

Birthday. Ande’s birthday was the first day we were at Disneyland. She wore her birthday badge proudly and the barbershop quartet sang to her. One of the things I love about Ande is that she is happy. She is fun to be with because she not only feels the magic – of family, of Christmas, of birthdays, of Disneyland – she helps spread it.

C

Christmas gifts. Like Chewbacca, the puppy Ande gave Joe for Christmas. Joe has wanted one forever, but it took Ande several months to come around to the idea. It was a big surprise to Joe. A BIG surprise. Michelle cried when she opened the gift she received from Ty – a free piano from Craigslist and music to go with it. Michelle is a wonderful pianist, but hasn’t been able to play since they moved East – her soul needs music.

This year for Christmas each family gave three of their favorite things to each other family. What a great gift exchange it was. Here are some of the ideas:

Ray and Cali keep a hummingbird feeder filled out their kitchen window and Ray especially loves to see the hummingbirds feed, so they gave each of us a feeder to enjoy as well as an invitation to join his non-profit “Operation Feed Hummingbirds in the Winter” organization as well. They also gave us i-tunes gift cards so that we can download the This American Life podcast apps to our phones, because that is one of Cali’s favorite things to listen to while cleaning house and folding laundry.

Abe and Grace gave us each a Nalgene water bottle with the instructions to find a hike in our area and go on it because that is one of their favorite things to do. They also gave us a cd with 20 of their favorite songs.

Ty and Michelle gave everyone a wooden marble game like the one Grandpa Payne made for our family. Calvin and Ty spent several hours out in the shop making them and I am so happy I don’t have to chop ours up to fairly split it between them now. They have all wanted it. They also gave us a gift of time by sharing one of Michelle’s favorite family traditions – watching the Muppet’s Christmas Carol and eating ice cream together.

Joe and Ande gave us each a recipe journal where they recorded two favorite recipes – onion rings and lasagna. They also gave us individualized gifts of meaningful pictures Joe took that Ande transferred to canvas through a new art technique. For example, the picture Joe took for Cali and Ray was one of boats down at the docks with the Seattle skyline in the background. It is to remind them of their Christmas sailing, their time in Seattle, and their love of water. The one for Abe and Grace was taken in the Philippines of their national flower; its daintiness reminded them of Clara, and the Philippines of Abe’s love for the people he served on his mission there. The picture for Ty and Michelle was taken in San Francisco, where they went on their honeymoon. The picture for Calvin and me was taken in Turkey of a famous painting of John the Baptist.

Calvin and I gave them a gift of meats that Calvin cured – bacon, Canadian bacon, and jerky. We also gave them a gift of a warming bag, chocolate covered nuts, and a book that we both enjoyed this year because curling up with a warm bag, candy, and reading a book is one of my favorite things to do.

We voted to keep this tradition another year. I’m glad gifts are a part of Christmas.

D

Disneyland. It’s magical. It really is. I have fond memories of going there as a child and now our children have fond memories as well. The girls and I were visiting with Ariel, the mermaid that grew legs. Ariel whispered to the little girl ahead of us, “You know sometimes when you see a big group of fish together? If you lean over the boat and say, ‘Where’s Flounder?’ they will all scatter and swim away to tell him that you’re looking for him. Try it. It happens every time.” Only magical places have clever answers like that and know what fish think.

My niece Charlie worked at Disneyworld last year and she said that her response when someone asked her “How many Mickey’s are there?” was “One. There is only one Mickey Mouse.” Sometimes they would say, “But I just saw him in Fantasyland and now he’s here.” And she would say, “No way! Do you know what Mickey just asked me a few minutes ago? He wondered how many of you there are in the park. He said, ‘I just saw that boy with the striped green shirt and glasses in Fantasyland and now he’s clear over here. How many of those little boys are in the park?” and I told him, “One, Mickey. There’s only one little boy like him. There’s only one of everyone.” Only magical places have clever answers like that and one Mickey.

E

Grace, Calvin, Abe

Exercise. We logged between 10-12 miles a day each day we were at Disneyland (you can get a third of a mile just weaving the lines). We were dogged tired every night . . . and sometimes during the day during the rides.

During the Christmas break Ty went jogging with me one morning. He said I jog faster than he thought; either I was showing off or his expectations were very low. Ande and I took Chewie on walks, too. I loved the chance to visit with the kids as we exercised.

F

Ty

Food. I like it. All of it. Our family has the tradition of each person picking their favorite food for our Christmas Eve meal. Even though it occasionally gets hectic, I enjoy everyone cooking their choice. Our Christmas meal is so easy now because they're all good cooks.  This year Calvin cooked prime rib, Joe made scalloped potatoes with a sweet crumb topping, Ande fried onion rings, I boiled corn, and Ty mixed a cheese ball. Now that everyone is older our meal is somewhat coordinated (someone might say “Has anyone chosen a side dish yet?” and then make his decision), whereas when the kids were little it was positively carnivorous. We also had pizza twice – once for Michelle and once for Abe. We never did eat Grace’s favorite food.

During the vacation the kids also cooked at other times.  Ty cooked Chinese food for Joe and Ande, Michelle cooked us one of hers/mine favorite recipes and they helped in the kitchen often.  I forgot how fast dishes can be done.

G

Abe

Games. During the holiday we played:

Rummikub (where have I been? I’d never played it before. It’s better than dominoes!)

Clue (we played by the official rules and hence, I lost. I knew there was a reason we changed the rules)

Hearts (I shot the moon once, but lost anyway. I hate it when I have to eat the queen and I ate her a lot)

Banana-grams (still not very good, but I do love it)

And . . .

Celestial Companions (a game Michelle’s sister gave her for Christmas – think The Newlywed Game with your host Baaaaaaa-bbbbbbb Eubanks.).

This picture of Abe sums up our Celestial Companions game.

We played CC one evening at the hotel while we were in California. One of the questions was “On a scale of one to ten rate your husband as a Casanova.” Three of us wives played it safe and said, “A ten. Definitely a ten.” One of us was honest and said, “A seven.” When her husband winced with the wound, she said sweetly, “It’s true if you think about it . . .” Wouldn’t you know that couple went on to win Celestial Companions? Their honesty thumped us in the long run; I’m sure there’s a moral in that story somewhere.

H

Abe and Grace

Happy. Last year Abe was in Iraq and Grace spent Christmas alone with me and Calvin. I couldn’t help but think what a happy time it was for both of them to be together this year rather than skyping. Last year Ande and Joe and Ty and Michelle were engaged, but very much single. I couldn’t help but think what a happy time it was for them to be married rather than dating. And when the kids are happy, it makes the dad and mom even happier.

I

Michelle

Inside jokes. I’m only a fan when everyone that is hearing it is on the inside of it.  For good or ill, thanks to Ty, Michelle, and Joe this trip created several new ones for the Payne's.  Ice cream will never mean the same.

J

Ande Jane and Mama Jane

Jolly. Excited. Jubilant.

There was a girl from Pakistan that sat next to us on the submarine ride. She had no legs and was missing both of her hands, however it didn’t keep her from moving independently. She is a foreign exchange student and her host family had come from Oregon to show her California. The submarine ride was her first attraction, and she was so happy and excited as was her host family. Watching her enjoy this opportunity enhanced mine.

K

Kaput. The pipes in the pump house broke – completely went kaput – while we were gone to Disneyland. Why is it a favorite memory? Because when we got home at 12:45 Christmas morning, Calvin fixed them so we could have water on Christmas day. I told him it wasn’t a big deal and we could work around no water, but he said he’d rather fix them so that everyone could enjoy Christmas. The kids were asleep, so while he worked outside on the pipes I unpacked, did the laundry, and put Christmas breakfast in the oven on time bake. It was like old times. By the time we went to bed at 3:30 a.m. it looked like we’d been patiently waiting for Christmas all week. I am so glad Calvin is handy and usually has a solution.

L

Levin. This little boy grins from ear to ear and squeals when he sees you. He makes you feel like you are the most important thing to him on the planet. And then he does it to the next person and makes them feel just as important. He has the funniest squeal. It is high pitched and he does it when he gets really excited and intense and wants you to be happy with him.

Calvin kept worrying aloud about Ray, Cali, and Levin while they were on their trip abroad. He worried the sharks would eat Levin’s legs off as they dangled in the water. He worried the boat would capsize in a storm. Finally I said, “Calvin, my imagination has enough worries without adding yours. How about we both just keep our scary thoughts to ourselves until something happens?” It's a toss up as to who was more relieved when the Follett’s returned home safe and sound.

M

Music. One of my favorite things of Christmas is the music. I love to sing along. I love to listen. I love to swing my foot to the beat.

And while we don’t take pictures during our church meetings, one of my favorite memories of this Christmas was sitting on the church pew Christmas morning singing and listening to songs of the Savior with my family. It was just so very, very good. I wish every Christmas fell on Sunday.

N

Ray's arm

New Year. We rang it in at Ray and Cali’s. Ray said 2011 was his best year yet. I love his attitude. It really should be that way – every year should be better than the last if you live it right, circumstances notwithstanding.

O

Ty and Michelle

Opinions. One of the most rewarding things in the world is when your kids ask your opinion on a matter, or for advice. There is no one in the world who better knows your mistakes and imperfections than your kids, so to have them forgive you of your stupidities and acknowledge your successes by asking what you think or what you would do is very kind. The kids often ask for our advice on parenting, marriage, career paths, vehicles, politics, brands of mayonnaise, and matters of faith, and this trip was no exception. To hear them humbly ask and quietly listen is something Calvin and I don’t take lightly or for granted.

P

Calvin coming out of a partridge in a pear tree twirl.

Parts. As in Partridge in a Pear Tree. One of our Christmas traditions is to have a family night on Christmas Eve where everyone has a “part.” I love Christmas Eve family night. We decided to celebrate Christmas Eve on the 23rd so that Abe and Grace could be with us. Abe and Grace had us sing and do actions to the Twelve Days of Christmas for their part.

This year Joe and Ande mimed a scene, and Ty and Michelle taught us a dance. (Mind you this was all done in the confines of a motel room so Ande danced on the bed.) Mine and Calvin’s part was to share our 11 on 11 of ’11 photo project. I compiled each month’s photos into an album for each family which also included our family appreciations for the year. Traditionally, my Christmas Eve part is to have everyone sit in a circle with a piece of paper with their name on it. While we listen to instrumental music we write down the things we appreciate about the person whose name is on the top of the sheet and pass the papers every minute or two. But since Cali and Ray wouldn’t be with us and I knew we would be pressed for time, everyone wrote their appreciations ahead of time and sent them to me and I compiled them. What a great thing to be reminded of all the good traits that others appreciate us for. It is not only fun to hear them read, but to have a chance to let others know of our love for them.

Q

Quid pro quo. There was a lot of give and take this Christmas. Like riding the merry-go-round. Michelle and I were going to ride it while we waited for everyone else to come off the roller coaster, but before I knew it they’d come back and jumped on with us. And even though there is no line at the merry-go-round you can’t fool me that was anyone’s first choice.

Before we went to Disneyland the kids were assigned the job of finding the best motel room – meaning price, cleanliness, and location. Several options came back, but when it came time to the final decision we started side-stepping so as not to step on toes. Ande wisely wrote to all of us: “Personally, I think every couple should send their vote between those two hotels and then we'll make reservations with the majority. Saying, ‘I don't care,’ is very thoughtful, but not helpful, so everyone has to make a real vote. I think it goes without saying that we are all willing to do what the group wants over what each of us necessarily wants as an individual, so make a vote and we'll make a final decision based on the group, knowing no one is feeling bad or disappointed or sad.”

I often thought of this comment – “I don’t care is thoughtful but not helpful” – and sometimes referred to it when I was in charge of seeing a decision was made. Everyone was willing to take one for the team or to step up and make a request throughout the entire holiday and it was great. As our family grows our dynamics are changing and it’s a big relief when the adjustments go smoothly.

R

Reading. Calvin started and finished Killing Lincoln on New Year’s Day. I’m still reading it.

During the vacation Ty was completely engrossed in the books Michelle gave him for Christmas. He’s a funny kid, he has amazing self-discipline and control . . . until he gets in a good book and then he can’t put it down. I love seeing a passion for good reading.


S

Shopping. Calvin and I gave each other a computer for Christmas. Buying a new computer before the old one is completely dead is a very grown-up thing for us to do. We are quite excited to have been so responsible and to not have lost one single file. Joe and Ty greatly helped us make our decision of which computer to buy. Ty rewarded Michelle and Ande with a smoothie for making it through the tedious, boring process.

T

It's a Small World

Thrills. Thrills like Tower of Terror. I should have guessed. The family told me Tower of Terror was like the Haunted Mansion and that not only would I like it, I would love it. It might even replace Small World and be my favorite they said. They also said it was supposed to be scary but that it really wasn’t; it just played with your mind a bit. Grace led the charge. And if I happened to question someone they would say, “Grace, tell Mom what it is like,” and she would pat my arm and say, “You’ll love it.” I believed her. Oh man. Oh man, oh man. I should not have. There is a reason the Tower of Terror ride is not called Small World. It was not touchy. It was not feely. It was scary. I could not have been happier than when it was over.

U

Cinderella's stepmother was a funny addition to the Disney Parade.

Unselfishness.

I was so grateful that our group was so unselfish. E.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. – even when they were tired or sore or blistered or hungry.

Michelle couldn’t go on any thrilling rides because she is pregnant. She patiently waited in line with us on the scary rides so she could be a part of the visiting, and then sat at the exit holding our coats, bags, and cameras until we finished.

After Soaring over California for four or five times I asked Abe his choice between two rides and he said, “Actually, once of Soaring was enough for me, but everyone else loves it so I didn’t say anything.” I would have never guessed it wasn’t his first choice. He also led out and walked ahead by himself so that we wouldn’t get stuck in a cluster and frustrated by indecision and the crowds.

Calvin went on every ride anyone suggested. It didn’t matter if it was the carrousel or the rollercoasters or the water rides. Actually he was the water rides proponent, but he was game for anything and everything the whole time even after his schematic nerve (that’s what he calls it) begged him to give it up.

Grace wore her Santa hat even though it messed her hair up because we asked her to. She also got excited for every little thing; she’s a paradox in that she calms through her excitement. Every group needs a Grace.

Ande’s enthusiasm energized everyone. She also made each of us a great big bag full of dried apples, fruit leather, nuts, and candy. Each bag was immense and so good. She also packed wet-wipes and hand sanitizer. Ty and Abe wore backpacks and happily toted everybody’s snacks, water, and sweaters every day all day and didn’t make you feel bad once when you asked to retrieve something or added something to the pile.

Joe was the photographer and happy to accommodate everyone as well as make great suggestions. He never hesitated to find the answers to our questions and knew how to navigate all things Disney. He even happily acted out the part of a bear in the Golden Horseshoe Saloon skit.

I was so grateful for everyone’s kind and unselfish attitude which made the trip not only possible, but fun. Everyone’s willingness to come and celebrate with Ande was appreciated.

V

Ande, Calvin, me

Vertigo. The kids laughed when Calvin requested this ride a second time, but they were happy to oblige. I made it once. It takes me awhile to recover from the dysfunction of the vestibular system in my inner ear after one loop. Calvin's ear seems to thrive on it and every other ride that makes you dizzy.

W

Ty, Michelle, Abe, Joe, Ande, Calvin

Waiting in line. At the end of our Disneyland trip we asked everyone what some of their favorite things were. The universal answer was “being together.” Oddly enough, I really enjoyed waiting in the lines. I loved them because of the conversations. Sometimes it was all of us talking together – like the time we waited at Soaring over California and discussed how often we argue as couples and how we handle disagreements. Sometimes it was conversations between two or a few – like the time at Toy Story Mania when Ty and Joe spent the entire time figuring out how to better their scores after Ande thoroughly thumped everyone in round one. It was great visiting and catching up no matter where we were. Waiting in line gave us the chance to really be together.

X

Michelle and Ty

X-hairs. Right after we finished this ride, Ty called, "Hey Dad! How come your glasses are still up on the top of your head?"  Calvin wondered why he took last place.

Y

Whenever Ande saw Lotso, the mean and nasty bear in Toy Story III that
smells like strawberries, she stopped to smell him.  Joe surprised her
with one in her stocking on Christmas morning.

Yuletide season. Many mornings Calvin gave a little devotional. One of my favorites was on December 23rd, Joseph Smith’s birthday, when he read from the scriptures about Joseph Smith and then bore his testimony that he knew he was a prophet of God. I left the tree up longer than ever before this year. I only made peanut brittle and chocolate covered peanuts and cashews. We made four or five dozen tamales one afternoon and ate on a cheeseball for over a week. It’s been unseasonably warm. Truly twas a season to be jolly.

Z

Grace, Michelle, Ande

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, 

My, oh my, what a wonderful day!
Plenty of sunshine, headin’ my way,
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

Splash Mountain plays the story of Brer Rabbit looking for his laughing place, his happy place, as the boat floats through animations representing happy times. Right before the edge of the waterfall, there is a sign that says, “You can’t run away from trouble; there’s no place that far!”

The laughing place. The happy place. That is what home and family is intended to be:  a safe and happy place to help us withstand the troubles of life that we can't run away from. This Christmas reminded me of that again and again. It made me grateful for our family and families everywhere.  In the words of Tiny Tim, "God bless us every one."