Tuesday – Kind of Taken by Surprise

The kids always give Calvin a hard time because he can’t keep a surprise.  He tries, he really does, but if something is good – like a birthday present – he just can’t help but tell you about it.  It’s quite endearing and we all love that about him.  While I was gone to Seattle Calvin did two surprises.  Cali and Ty knew about them, but he promised them he wouldn’t tell me.  And he didn’t.  For three whole days.  Then he agreed when I asked really, really nice.  He installed a new over-the-stovetop microwave and a little air conditioner in the storage room.  What great surprises!  (As you will remember, our microwave died six months ago.)  I appreciate Calvin, and that he tries to surprise me, and that he can’t keep surprises.

Ty, on the other hand, won’t budge on a surprise.  He told us that he and Michelle had left a surprise for us in Moses Lake, but he wouldn’t tell us where it was until Calvin and I were both home together.  Once Ty and Michelle knew we were both home they sent us a text with the first clue:

A fabulous time with you we had,

In leaving you we were pretty sad.

Along with part of our hearts which we left behind,

We also left some things for you two to find.

Next to the piano in the music holder of tin,

This is where your treasure hunt begins.

Find your first clue and follow it to clue #2.

Keep going and going and then you’ll find something for you!

The treasure hunt led us out through the shop, the garage, and my new fort.  Finally, we found two movie tickets and giant Symphony bars hidden in a closet.  What a fun thing to come home to.  I appreciate Ty and Michelle and their surprise.

The bubble popped.  I haven’t had a crisis about all the kids moving away until yesterday.  Suddenly I really realized that they all have their very own families and homes now.  I didn’t recognize how much I still thought of Ande and Ty as being at home even though they were in other states going to college.  Until yesterday.  It’s not terribly painful, but it did close down one vein in my heart temporarily.  They’re gone.  They’re really gone.  I was surprised to feel it as I assumed I’d already dealt with an empty house when Ande went away to college.  Not so.  Hmmm.  I’m glad I have a bit of Pollyanna in me.  I have learned through the years to find something good (as Ma [from The Little House books] always says, “There is no great loss without some small gain”) in situations.  I remember one time when I worried Calvin was going to die and I got sooooo very sad.  So very sad.  I knew I would go crazy with dread and grief thinking about it, so I tried to find the good in case that happened.  I came up with, “I will never have to make bread again if I don’t want to,” and “I will never have to iron shirts again.”  That was the sum total of my small gain, but it was enough to temporarily distract me.  (Sometimes that looking-for-the-good game is dangerous though. Sometimes you can amass quite a pile of small gains and you lose perspective on the great loss.  Just warning you.)  So today I will begin to enjoy the small gains – like cooking beets for supper because there is not one kid here to complain.  I am happy that the kids have created great families, have valuable skills, and wonderful opportunities ahead, so I shall focus on that, too.  And it’s always nice to remember that we’re on our way into the next generation.  There.  I’m feeling better already.  But one more reason to blog, I say.